I tripped. I tripped on that hole that I try to pretend is not there. The hole that holds all my insecurities, doubt and fears. It’s my own fault, I knew it was there. It’s there because I dug the damn thing. I let negative thinking create a hole that allows adverse talk in my head and heart rule my decisions and actions. We all do it. But those holes we dig in our soul can bury us if we are not careful.
During the difficult times, I usually turn to two books, the Bible and a book by Iyanla Vanzant. The Bible provides the guidance for my heart and mind. Ms. Vanzant’s, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, provides the active practices applicable to the scriptures that speak to my soul. Within Ms. Vanzant’s book, are exercises to assist in clearing one’s mind and achieving a stronger faith, what I call the complete hole filler. The most earmarked page of my copy of the book contains a chart with principles to practice when struggling with emotions that can create the craters in your soul:
When you feel:
You Must Practice:
Each one is a process and not a quick fix. Each specific activity should be practiced daily to address the emotions we all feel. Calling on the Divine, speaking your truth, suspending expectations of the outcome of your issues. All things we must commit to in order to cement our faith. We all claim to have faith but we must actively work to achieve faith.
Over the past month, I have been feeling every emotion in that chart and more. These past couple of days, I have been trying to clear my mind so that I only hear the Divine. I recognize that I allow myself to get swept up and swept away. I am grateful that I am able to identify the correlation between my illness and not being in alignment with the life I intend to live.
Refocusing is fulfilling. Filling the part of me that was getting lost inside of my own emotional well. As I focus on the supportive emotions within, that hole is filling. I know that at any moment it can return. I’m doing the necessary work to not only fill it up, but fly over any bumps that may remain.
Here is a very powerful insight: see everything that happens in your life as being for your best interest. Consider this:
Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.
Anyone who abandons you is for teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet.
Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.
Anything that has power over you is for teaching you how to take your power back.
Anything you hate is for teaching you unconditional love.
Anything you fear is for teaching you courage to overcome your fear.
Anything you can’t control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the universe.